Domestic Violence 20/20

In relationships, red flags are signs, warnings, a very clear indication that someone in all probability can’t have a healthy relationship and continuing down the road together would be emotionally dangerous. Although red flags in a relationship might not be obvious it remains a red flag, a warning, a sign.

Are you willing to play Russian roulette? A potentially deadly game of chance, in which, someone places a single round in a handgun, spins the chamber, places the muzzle against the head or body, and pulls the trigger.

You are playing Russian roulette every time you remain in a toxic relationship. Perhaps comparing it to Russian roulette is exaggerated, but is it?

The decisions we make throughout our lives take real thought and can leave us with serious consequences. When we look back at situations that went poorly, we can clearly see (hence 20/20) what could’ve been done better.

Decisions are no different in football or any sport. For instance, the Kansas City Chiefs are known as the comeback team. However, last week the Chiefs were not successful against the Baltimore Ravens. Every play, every quarter, every decision makes the outcome of the game.

Bad plays made during a game don’t seem so bad until an unbelievable play changes the outcome in the last seconds of the game. Also, this is true while playing the game of life. When we choose to remain in a toxic relationship and overlook bad decisions, we experience injury or death. 

Almost always, there are sporting events where the game or a race is extremely close, the game goes down to the wire, and the outcome is decided by a crucial, unbelievable, million-to-one play in the last second.

This is known to happen in basketball. The game ends with free throws with no time left or a three-pointer made in desperation. Often from across the court.

This happens in track and field. Races ending in a photo finish.

This happens in baseball. The game ends with a dramatic walk-off home run.

But life shouldn’t be that way and too often it is when it comes to domestic violence. The red flags are there and not a big enough deal is made of it, until that final second that costs a life.

Life is not a game and should not be played as one, because when it all comes down to the last second, that will only leave people, in the end, pointing fingers, saying, “the game (life) was lost, because someone one missed, a pass, or fumbled.”

Every play (decision), every choice influences the outcome of a game (life), movie, and in real life.

October is the month set aside to bring awareness and to educate people about domestic violence. Domestic violence is common in every community, and affects all people regardless of age, socio-economic status, sexual orientation, gender, race, religion, or nationality.

Perhaps, If, the necessary precautions and more concern, was placed in the issues and the lives of those crying out for help early on, there wouldn’t be so many domestic violence cases ending in death.

When red flags appear, each flag plays a part, and every flag after, until the last play. Don’t drop the pass or fumble the warning.

If you are a victim of domestic violence, or no someone who is, you can call 1.800. 799.SAFE (7233) to speak confidentially with trained advocates or Text “START” to 88788. They can help you develop a plan to achieve safety for you and your children.